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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001.
#three #show #changes #uk #school
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The plan divides into three categories that belong to the specific school in the UK which show how they spend
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 over one year, in three target
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 1981,1991,200. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance, the highest amount
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all years is
common
Change the adjective
commonly
show examples
 related to teachers’
salaries
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
I
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 1991 is more than
others
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
 with 50%
then
Linking Words
 in order 45% in 2001 and 40% in 1981. The lowest point is joint too associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 insurance. with
range
Add an article
a range
show examples
 of 2% in 1981 3% in 1991 and
finally
Linking Words
 a little growth to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
8% in 2001. As the moderate percentage, resources e.g books sounds middle with 15% to 23% in
sequence
Add an article
a sequence
the sequence
show examples
 of years. In 1981, regarding the other mentioned reason, furniture and equipment
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 15% and other work
salaries
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 28% as the significant amount. That
also
Linking Words
 in 1991 is important too with 22% and the equipment shows a noticed decrease to 5%. The point. in 2001other
salaries
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fall
Change the verb form
fallen
show examples
 to 15% but
Linking Words
conversely
Add a comma
,conversely
show examples
 equipment displays
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
show examples
 considerable rise to 23% which is more between all three
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
. and drop other
salaries
Use synonyms
 is still happening to 15%
that is
Linking Words
 less
tan
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 other years.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, the
salaries
Use synonyms
dedicated
Add a missing verb
are dedicated
show examples
 for the most part of
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
.
Submitted by fami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenditure
  • financial management
  • infrastructure investment
  • evolution of costs
  • annual spending
  • strategic funding
  • capital outlay
  • operational costs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal trends
  • cost analysis
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