The top priority of business is making money , and they do not need to have social responsibilities . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#priority #business #money #responsibilities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many individuals believed that the most focused thing of a company is making a profit rather than responding to society . I totally disagree with that statement and that will be discussed throughout

this

Linking Words

essay. Everybody agrees that earning more money is the reason to start

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employment .

However

Linking Words

, there is not only that , the more profit you earn is the more the more responsibilities you must take care

Change preposition

of .

show examples

First of all is about business members , which is working for

also

Linking Words

working with the company .

Correct your spelling

show examples

apply you must provide them with

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

working environment,

also

Linking Words

the most important thing is paying their salaries punctually .

Moreover

Linking Words

, make sure you are right when you fire any employees , which will probably upset them and get many financial problems . So that you have responsibilities with your employees

also

Linking Words

their families .

Thirdly

Linking Words

, one obvious view that, some businesses , especially which is producing some products is never care about our environment . So

that is

Linking Words

the business' environmental problem. A business factory

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

is going to make sure their production not

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

spoil the local area and neighbourhoods in the environment.

Finally

Linking Words

, every trade must make sure they pay their tax on time and

also

Linking Words

follow some special governmental rules . Sometimes they are recommended to create a charity which is a kind of

apply

Wrong verb form

applied

show examples

social responsibility .

To conclude

Linking Words

, there are clear to see that making money is not

focus

Add an article

the focus

show examples

of a field . There are

also

Linking Words

more and more things they have to do which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

explained in

this

Linking Words

essay

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Jul 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
Profitability
Ethical practices
Economic growth
Brand image
Consumer backlash
Long-term success
Sustainability
Ethical labor practices
Community involvement
Legal requirements
Compliance policies
Innovation
Stakeholders
Social welfare

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation systems in order to help solve this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In nowdays, while cars have become an essential tool for transportaion, the number of cars on the roads has been increasing constantly, which has generated more car emissions and worsened global warming. Some insist that governments should allocate more budget into public transportation systems, whereas others complain that the growth of alternative cars such as electric cars is more beneficial than the development of public transportation systems. In my opinion, both upgrades are crucial to solve the problem.
8
band
It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is controversial whether spacious public spaces for exercise are needed in all cities and towns. I partially agree with this, for promoting public health regardless of the fact that they cause some environmental damage in the countryside.
6
band
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is not a surprise that fast food has become commonplace these days. A huge number of people prefer to choose meal chains like McDonald's, Burger King, KFC and others as their main way of eating. Subsequently, a lot of people have serious health problems because it is very harmful to eat such foodstuffs constantly. And there is a view that the government should increase the tax on these purchases. And of course, this solution has its advantages and disadvantages. But I think the drawbacks are more.
4.5
band
Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countrysid.
the modern era whilewhile others believe that every person was nowadays is more and more independent. This author believes that it is good for people to live by their own self and rely on their own ability.
6.5
band
In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
In the era of globalization, new methods of payment have been generated. credit cards simplest the payment system by purchasing anything without having cash money. However, there is a debate on this argument . As a result, a wide range of individuals could face some obstacles with debts and they may not be able to pay them back. In this essay, I will illustrate the benefits and its hazards.

The top priority of business is making money , and they do not need to have social responsibilities . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countrysid.

In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?