IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation #answers
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They say that technology will never stop advancing. Nowadays,
individual
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individuals
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have
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has
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 the
freewill
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free will
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 to start over and migrate to other countries for a career given the
improvement
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improved
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communication
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in communication
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 and modes of
trasnsportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
. Remote jobs are becoming famous,
transportation
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 now cheaper, and more
infrustructures
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infrastructures
infrastructure
 are
built
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being built
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 to solve commuting problems,
however
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,
due to
Linking Words
 these upgrades, human interaction
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is
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are lessen
Change the verb form
are lessened
are lessening
show examples
 and untoward vehicular accidents are
in
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on
show examples
 the rise.
Hence
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, there are more benefits as opposed to disbenefits of the development of communication and transport. On the one hand,
due to
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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better internet speed and
proliferation
Correct article usage
the proliferation
show examples
 of online jobs, more and more people are on the verge of choosing
working
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to work
show examples
 remotely in
thei
Correct your spelling
their
 own places.
In addition
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, even in
copaniees
Correct your spelling
companies
 online seminars and
meeting
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meetings
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 are being held
in
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on
show examples
 digital platforms
such
Linking Words
 as
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
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, google meet, and
facebook
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Facebook
show examples
 messenger. All of these applications provide a clear way of talking to someone or in a large group provided a
qualit
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quality
 internet connection.
Morover
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Moreover
, working abroad is now more
accecible
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accessible
 with the improvement of airlines around the globe. To illustrate, a company person can be deployed anywhere around the globe if need be.
Finally
Linking Words
, better facilities are built, to cite as examples are
waiting
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forwaiting
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 terminals, railways with bullet train capabilities, and bus
centers
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centres
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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being
utelized
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utilized
utilised
 in today's period. Technological advancement,
in
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on
show examples
 the other hand,
have
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has
show examples
 drawbacks that people do not seemingly realize.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
 of which is the decline in human interactions where more people tend to use online channels to bring about and talk
Change preposition
about thier
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 concerns.
In addition
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, even big concerts and church activities are being held live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media and streaming sites like youtube.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 the updates and
transportation
Use synonyms
 availability a rise in accidents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 seen
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
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in
Change preposition
by
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 sea, air, and land. A research group
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Harvard
university
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University
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 studied the trend of vehicular accidents and proved that the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 is one of the reasons for untoward incidents. In conclusion, technology will provide a better means of communication and
transportation
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it has
also
Linking Words
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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 that are proven, cosequently, individuals must be aware of the rising concerns.
Submitted by cacholarenzelle on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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