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the top piority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#piority #businesses #money #responsibilities
Many
people
 think the top priority of businesses is making
money
, and they do not need to have social
responsibilities
. Essay, I disagree with that and the writer is my opinion. On the one hand,
people
 is businessmen or businesswomen have a mission which is making
money
 but they must have public
responsibilities
. If they do not need to have social
responsibilities
, the environment around them will be bad, public will have
applying
Change the verb form
to apply
show examples
 no emotion
people
.
For example
, in a small family
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a father but
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
thinks his life is making
money
 for his family which is the problem for his son
apply
Fix the infinitive
to apply
show examples
 not
apply
Add the particle
toapply
show examples
 have care happen.
Furthermore
, businessmen or businesswomen when they are not responsible for applying
society
 will become a place out of human affection. But,
instead
 applying the
society
 around them will get economic profit.
On the other hand
,
people
 workers when they make
money
 apply will become pillars of
society
 and apply will get high positions. But they do not have free time for their family and they must work hard more than others. The opposite of that, an example if they are not married, they do not think about the time to spend with their children but just spend all their time on their work.
That is
 an example if they think only about work but that would be boring. In conclusion, I disagree with the workers who only know about making
money
 without caring about social
responsibilities
although
this
 is beneficial to
society
 economically applying it will not benefit
society
 emotionally.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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