the top piority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#piority #businesses #money #responsibilities

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Many

people

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think the top priority of businesses is making

money

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, and they do not need to have social

responsibilities

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. Essay, I disagree with that and the writer is my opinion. On the one hand,

people

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is businessmen or businesswomen have a mission which is making

money

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but they must have public

responsibilities

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. If they do not need to have social

responsibilities

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, the environment around them will be bad, public will have

applying

Change the verb form

to apply

show examples

no emotion

people

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For example

Linking Words

, in a small family

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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a father but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

thinks his life is making

money

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for his family which is the problem for his son

apply

Fix the infinitive

to apply

show examples

not

apply

Add the particle

toapply

show examples

have care happen.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, businessmen or businesswomen when they are not responsible for applying

society

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will become a place out of human affection. But,

instead

Linking Words

applying the

society

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around them will get economic profit.

On the other hand

Linking Words

people

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workers when they make

money

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apply will become pillars of

society

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and apply will get high positions. But they do not have free time for their family and they must work hard more than others. The opposite of that, an example if they are not married, they do not think about the time to spend with their children but just spend all their time on their work.

That is

Linking Words

an example if they think only about work but that would be boring. In conclusion, I disagree with the workers who only know about making

money

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without caring about social

responsibilities

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although

Linking Words

this

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is beneficial to

society

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economically applying it will not benefit

society

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emotionally.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Jul 26 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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the top piority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.