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Band 4.5

the top priority of business is making money , and they do not need to have social responsibilities . To wwhat eextent do you agree or disagree ?

#priority #business #money #responsibilities #wwhat #eextent
The important
precedant
Correct your spelling
precedent
 in
Add an article
the corporation
a corporation
show examples
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
 was creating
money
 and they make sure that their social
responsibilities
 is
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
necessary
. Personally ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 definitely disagree with the sentence . The reason which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain and show in the paragraph below. On the one hand , personal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 was the most important
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
, it really
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 in every
cases
Change to a singular noun
case
show examples
such
 as conversation or chatting . It will
Add a missing verb
be uneffectively
show examples
uneffectively
Correct your spelling
ineffective
 if work without good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 or
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
kind
responsibilities
 .
Company
Add an article
The company
A company
show examples
 can not grow up
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
at all , because
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 do not have any soft
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 or kind of
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 that can help in
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 jobs.
Besides
 that , making
money
 in
easy
Change the article
an easy
show examples
 way was unreal ,
money
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 from many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of things ,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
philanthropic action or
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 for some
unemployee
Correct your spelling
unemployed
. It is evident that working without social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 can
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 the way
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
harder if
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have a strengthen-steps , it can not grow the
business
.
In
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 it will be
a helpless things
Correct the article-noun agreement
a helpless thing
helpless things
show examples
 that
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 need to carry . In social life , having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 will receive
respection
Correct your spelling
respect
 from the people
around
Correct pronoun usage
themaround
show examples
 , it does not matter if
business
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
 the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of workers , because everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to change to suit in
situation
Add an article
the situation
a situation
show examples
 than the stepback.
On the other hand
 , there are a host of compelling reasons as to why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am convinced that making profits or
expand
Wrong verb form
expanding
show examples
 production can be easier which can attract the employee passing the factory emission
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the perks .
The employee
Correct article usage
Employee
show examples
 who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
responsibilities
 and soft
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to
done
Change the form of the verb
do
show examples
 work perfectly can achieve the perks easy than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others.In fact, the production process
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help the firm escape from the
ambitious
Replace the word
ambition
show examples
 of making
money
 . If corporation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 taking their
attraction
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
 on
money
 too much , they will not think about the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of social
responsibilities
 and the
business
 will go down until the tops can
regconize
Correct your spelling
recognize
.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
show examples
 really hard to take that the workers do not know how to behave with their
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
, it can say that they do not know how to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems. In conclusion ,
while
 it is irrefutable that making
money
 without
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
responsibilities
 is the worst way to do ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would
content
Correct your spelling
contend
show examples
 that doing any
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 or anything which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social skills ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
really
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 a lot of soft skills and social
responsibilities
instead
 of do not know face to face with the problems as well .
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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