The top priority of bussiness is making money, and they do not have social responbilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#priority #bussiness #money #responbilities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

believe that the top priority of

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

is making

money

Use synonyms

and they do not have social

Use synonyms

responbilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

. I absolutely disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why

Change the capitalization

show examples

convince

that

Correct pronoun usage

them that

show examples

they

also

Linking Words

need to have social

Use synonyms

responbilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

. First of all,

Change the capitalization

show examples

accept that making

money

Use synonyms

is one of the

priority

Change to a plural noun

priorities

show examples

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

, as profit nowadays is very important to us. It can make us

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more and more

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

commercial

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

invent

Change the verb form

inventing

show examples

them in some aspect of the job. When we invent something for something

you

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

will receive many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

good

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

from the inventions.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

more and more counterpart in

Correct pronoun usage

our works

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

. Have

further

Linking Words

experiences and confidence

Change preposition

show examples

each other and have some more opportunities to gain

sucess

Correct your spelling

success

However

Linking Words

, merely earning

money

Use synonyms

is not enough in business, you must have to have social

Use synonyms

responbilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

to the world.

For example

Linking Words

, if you make

money

Use synonyms

by making some products, your customer used them and got problems with

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

such

Linking Words

got

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

injured,

poisoned

Correct word choice

or poisoned

show examples

or some situations can

happend

Correct your spelling

happen

happened

then

Linking Words

you deny your

responbility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

your products.

This

Linking Words

will make wrongdoing and you will be

unsucessful

Correct your spelling

unsuccessful

successful

in business.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if you have

Use synonyms

responbilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

to them and find out how to handle it to the

comsumer

Correct your spelling

consumer

. The

repution

Correct your spelling

reputation

and your customer will increase and trust your product. In conclusion, every work

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

social

responbilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

not only

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

money

Use synonyms

. They can help us create

the

Correct article usage

show examples

belief

Change preposition

show examples

each other and

your

Correct pronoun usage

our

show examples

comsumer

Correct your spelling

consumer

. More and more people will know your company or your job

then

Linking Words

you will be

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

in business than only

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

money

Use synonyms

and don't need the social

Use synonyms

responbilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Jul 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays, many people think that children should become competitive or they should be taught to co-operate. All people think that diverse. Moreover, many children are willing to be competitive or together and choose themselves.
5.5
band
Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary, humans are becoming more and more greedy and selfish for their purposes; therefore, many are of the opinion that we should restore previous traditions and values, like admiring family and society values. In my view, this will be beneficial for both individuals and communities to live a better lifestyle.
5
band
Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?
Some parents purchase a lot of toys for their kids to play with. This essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks that results from such an approach.
5
band
When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
It is often true that we tend to judge a person the very first time we meet them. In my view, this is a negative approach as it is hard to decide about someone in the first seconds of our interaction with them.
5.5
band
Does being famous have more advantages or more disavantages?
Nowadays, famous people such as singers or movie stars have great benefits in many different ways, but their fame can also have drawbacks. From my perspective, I think being well-known has more advantages than disadvantages. In this essay, I will explain two views by my own experience.

The top priority of bussiness is making money, and they do not have social responbilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Does being famous have more advantages or more disavantages?