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Band 4

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagress?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities #disagress
It is often said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses
 have to priority to make
money
, so they didn't have
reponsibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the public.
While
 I accept that
this
 perception is
some what
Correct your spelling
somewhat
show examples
 justifiable,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe it will better if it went to
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 way. There is no
dout
Correct your spelling
doubt
 that the main purpose of
businesses
 is
generate
Change the verb form
to generate
generating
show examples
 profits. Because making a lot of
money
 can help their
businesses
 grow up and bigger
than
Change preposition
apply
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. They
also
 can expand more productions in their field. They
also
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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money
 on their family, their life.
On the other hand
, they don't have any time to care about the social because they are very busy
to work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
. In my opinion, if they make
money
 with care about social
responsibilities
 they have more
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 than they think.
For example
, if they have a social responsibility, everyone will know their
businesses
 more and they can develop the business faster.
Have
Wrong verb form
Having
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
responsibility
show examples
 to the social
also
creative
Replace the word
creates
show examples
 more opportunities to contract with other
businesses
. Everyone
also
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 about their production and it will help the quality increase in the market.
Market
Add an article
The market
show examples
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 impact on
businesses
 so they need to have
responsibilities
 like
concerned
Add a missing verb
being concerned
show examples
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 process of production,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 factory emissions, create more job
opportuninities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for poor people in general. In conclusion, I would contend that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses
 will have more opportunities if they combine the high priority is making
money
 with
responsibilities
 to the social.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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