It is the reponsibilitiy of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benifits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?

#reponsibilitiy #individuals #retirement #governments #obligation #benifits #statements

Retirement

plans

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are

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a significant part of individuals, for which,everyone wants to be safe and secure in their life of old age. To provide

retirement

benefit,

government

do not have

Correct article usage

an obilgation

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obilgation

Correct your spelling

obligation

for it, as it is the

reponsibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

of individuals to save and provide for their own

retirement

. Everyone wants their future

plans

retirements

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retirement

show examples

to be secured.

Government

should have

role

Add an article

a role

show examples

in the benefit of

retirement

for those who are under

poverty

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the poverty

show examples

line, as per the ratio counted by the respective organisations.

So that

Correct word choice

show examples

it would be helpful for those who are

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apply

show examples

below

Correct article usage

the proverty

show examples

proverty

Correct your spelling

poverty

line, by providing free food products for their daily survival. Even they should provide subsidised products

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apply

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so that needy people could be able to buy them for daily needs in their

retirement

age. As Indian railway is

Correct article usage

a renound

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renound

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renowned

railway system for

their

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the

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best service provided to the

citizens

apart from

this

Indian

governemnt

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government

provides subsidised fare tickets to

the

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apply

show examples

senior

citizens

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apply

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travel in Indian railway.

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show examples

some

extend

Replace the word

extent

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, the

government

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government's

show examples

involvement in the benefits of

retirement

may be misused by

citizens

. I agree with

statement

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the statement

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that individuals should save and provide their own

retirement

plans

as per their

need

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needs

show examples

in future. In

recent

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a recent

show examples

survey done by United Nations,

that

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apply

show examples

they came

upto

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up to

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reports done by third survey providers , in which the people who were well settled, even though they enrolled in the

government

retirement

plans

which were only provided to poor senior

citizens

of the respective country.

Individual

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An individual

show examples

retirement

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

show examples

should be

must

Correct article usage

a must

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people who are

fillthy

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filthy

rich, rather than depending on

goverments retiremnt

Correct your spelling

government retirement

funds. In conclusion,

to save

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saving

show examples

and

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

for their own

retiremnt

Correct your spelling

retirement

retirements

is good for each one of us. Despite of depending benefits

providing

Wrong verb form

provided

show examples

by any organisation. In which there will be a limitation. If we have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

saving

Fix the agreement mistake

savings

show examples

for our

retirement

plans

then

there will

Add a missing verb

be no

show examples

limitation or any obligation of funds, as per our needs in our

retirement

Submitted by ebin183 on Wed Jul 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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It is the reponsibilitiy of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benifits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?

Fully explain your ideas

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

In some countries , owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of old people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?