IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view?

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A prison sentence as a form of punishment for committing an offence has been widely debated on the forum
recent
Change preposition
in recent
show examples
 years.In my view, imprisonment can be seen as the right decision.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it can not be seen as a solution for minor
crimes
Use synonyms
.I will analyse
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 following paragraphs. To commence with, Independence and freedom are
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
present
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 most individual’s life.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,To be behind the bar is a penalty for
criminals
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, With respect to dangerous
criminals
Use synonyms
 have the ability to have an adverse impact on the community
such
Linking Words
 as a wanted
fugitive
Fix the agreement mistake
fugitives
show examples
, child
abuser
Fix the agreement mistake
abusers
show examples
, kid
napper
Fix the agreement mistake
nappers
show examples
,
mudereror
Correct your spelling
murderer
 or
rapist
Fix the agreement mistake
rapists
show examples
,…
Thus
Linking Words
, these
crimes
Use synonyms
 are increasing the phobia of society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, good renovation brings
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 shift
while
Linking Words
 some
criminals
Use synonyms
realeased
Correct your spelling
released
 from prison come back even more violent and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
repeat
offender
Fix the agreement mistake
offenders
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Osama Bin Laden-know as a terrorist boss, killing a half of thousand human
being
Change to a plural noun
beings
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, he has
leave
Wrong verb form
left
show examples
 indignation to all of
citizens
Add an article
the citizens
show examples
 in London.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the misdemeanor
show examples
misdemeanor
Change the spelling
misdemeanour
show examples
crimes
Use synonyms
 will be sent
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 re-education
camp
Fix the agreement mistake
camps
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 in jail.
However
Linking Words
,it depends on
circumstances
Correct article usage
the circumstances
show examples
 of
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 level
such
Linking Words
 as burglar, plagiarism,
self confessed
Add a hyphen
self-confessed
show examples
,…
Besides
Linking Words
 that, Juvenile delinquents are needed to be rehabilitated because
aims
Correct pronoun usage
their aims
show examples
 are to help them learn
culture
Add an article
the culture
show examples
, learn trades, work,
live
Correct word choice
and live
show examples
 under the management and education of the school. A suspended sentence or
comminty
Correct your spelling
community
 service
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a level for the masses who violate
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
 under three years.If
crimes
Use synonyms
 are felt regret about
negatives
Correct article usage
the negatives
show examples
 of causing action will be extenuating circumstances from
court
Add an article
the court
show examples
. In summary, prison is not the option of punishment for
criminals
Use synonyms
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, they must suffer the levels of consequences of what they have done
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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