IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

average annual expenditure on cell phone national and international fixed-line services

#expenditure #cell #phone #fixed-line #services
The line chart illustrates the amount of money that
people
 average annual must spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, International
fixed-line
 and National
fixed-line
services
 between 2001 and 2010. In general,
people
 must spend the largest amount
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
cell
phone
services
while
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 amount of money spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 International
fixed-line
services
. In 2001, the figures for
cell
phone
services
 started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 200$. Because many
people
 used
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cell
phone
services
 so not surprised that it increased rapidly in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 9 years from 2001 to 2010.
However
, the cost of National
fixed-line
services
 started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 700$ and fell suddenly from 700$ to 400$ in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 9 years with no
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 as many
people
 used
cell
phone
services
instead
 of National
fixed-line
. Meanwhile,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
International
fixed-line
services
also
 increased gradually from 2001 to 2003 so many
people
 used
cell
phone
services
, they
also
 fell gradually from 2003 to 2004 and
then
 stay unchanged the same in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 6 years.
Submitted by huaishang90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: