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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
#schools
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Bullying is a significant
problem
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 in several schools.
This
Linking Words
problem
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 generally stems from 2 specific reasons:
Firstly
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, some TV shows and
games
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 propel
children
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 into violent acting, and
secondly
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, violence is contagious.
To begin
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 with, some TV shows and
games
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 are not suitable for
children
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 to play or watch because they include many undesirable behaviours
such
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 as robbery, gasp, and thief.
However
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, a considerable of the part of
parents
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 do not control what their
children
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 play or watch.
As a consequence
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 of
this
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, reaching
this
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 type of
games
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,
children
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 play or watch them, and they
then
Linking Words
 share their experiences with their friends. Violence is contagious, which means that it spread quickly from one person to
other-person
Correct your spelling
other person
show examples
, and experiences shared beget a
problem
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 for society. To exemplify, a child invades a school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and shoots at their friends. To solve the
problem
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, my purpose is to collaborate. if governments and
parents
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 make collaboration, the bullying
problem
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 can be effortlessly solved. Governments ensure the security of schools and provide some funds to raise awareness among
parents
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 and
children
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. As
parents
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 become more conscious, they can take control of their child's activities,
such
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 as playing
games
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 or watching videos.
At the end
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 of the day, these two components are suitable for phasing out bullying.
To conclude
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, collaboration is a crucial segment for solving the
problem
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.
Submitted by eerkare on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
What to do next:
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