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Band 4

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #situation
It is popularly believed that nowadays,
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of professionals like physicians and educators, are leaving their own nations to
work
 overseas. In
this
 essay, I give reasons and support my ideas. In recent times , most people are leaving their countries
while
 others are trying to get a lucrative
job
 in their hometown. There are some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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 working abroad. First of all,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days getting a place at university is
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
easy
Correct word choice
easier
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 day by day and it is causing a growth of employees.
As a result
, some people can not find a
job
 because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of employment.
That is
 why, most are choosing to migrate to other countries to
work
 in
an a
Choose an article
an
show examples
 influential place.
Furthermore
, most individuals claim that if they
work
 overseas, they can earn money simply.
However
, finding a well-paid
job
 is not easy and making money in
short
Add an article
a short
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 time can not happen usually.In some cases , they just emigrate native land because of training. When it comes to solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 situation, the first solution I would like to highlight is increasing
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 number of workplaces
such
 as schools and clinics.
This
 is because,
aforementioned
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as aforementioned
show examples
, if places are enough, individuals can not leave their
work
 .
In addition
, sometimes having only
workplace
Correct article usage
a workplace
show examples
 can not be enough. So,if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 supplies each place with up-to-date technologies, it can assist people to be
providen
Correct your spelling
provided
 with
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. All in all , I do believe that if governments help citizens to provide with influential or well-paid
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, moving
into
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to
show examples
 other nations can be decreased.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion. The overall logical structure needs improvement, and the introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but lack clarity. The main points are supported to some extent, but there is room for improvement in providing relevant specific examples. The essay partially addresses the task, but the response lacks depth and clarity. More comprehensive ideas and relevant examples should be included to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the response lacks depth and clarity. More comprehensive ideas and relevant examples should be included to achieve a higher score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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