IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #percentage #parents #country #time #care #children #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided data presents the proportion of night activities for children by their parents sorted by four different topics
and
Correct word choice
apply
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during a certain year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
although
Linking Words
mothers
Use synonyms
 handle dressing the most, fathers are likely to do assignments together as well.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it can be observed that dads record approximately less than one-tenth than moms did in dressing which accounted for around 75%.
In addition
Linking Words
, doing assignments show almost 10% which is the highest ratio for daddy and it is one-fifth of
mothers
Use synonyms
. To be more detailed, both fathers and
mothers
Use synonyms
 playing games together demonstrated about 70% which is three times more than the sum of one of the parents
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, the total of both parents together in preparing for bed is close to
mothers
Use synonyms
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 it alone.
Submitted by kigj95 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mothers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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