It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort o f punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #f #parents #teachers #behaviour

I agree that it is important for

children

to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. In my experience, if

children

didn’t know what kind of behaviour were right or wrong, it may lead to a tragedy. For my nephew, my auntie was really spoiled .

For example

, one day my nephew broke his classmate’s bottles, he don’t even say sorry to his classmate and he just cried and said that wasn’t his fault, that when the school teacher call my auntie, my auntie just help him with no

punishment

and distinction and said sorry to his classmate and said that she will pay for his mistake. When my nephew has grown up, he made a similar mistake, he won’t realize that it was his fault and make an apology. Based on

this

story, I think

punishment

is necessary to help

children

who get in trouble learn the distinction.

Furthermore

, I think physical

punishment

is permit parents to teach good behaviour to

children

, but it’s not a way to teach. I think the best way for both parents and teacher were the

punishment

restricting

children

from using their mobile phone or other 3C appliances

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because my little brother will listen to my mother’s word if my mother says that she might take away his mobile phone when my little brother do the wrong things. In conclusion,

children

learn right and wrong at an early age is really important, and sometimes

punishment

is necessary to help them know it properly.

Submitted by wayne685241 on Thu Jul 27 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all thier time and attention for a qualification

Social media has completely changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?