Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The debate about whether
sports
lessons must be compulsory in
schools
is a prominent one
due to
the fact that
children
are now less active in their free time compared to the past. I agree with
this
statement and believe that
sports
are essential for
children
's health. To elaborate, the preferred activities of
children
outside of school hours have changed over the years.
Children
have become less active in physical activities and focus more on social media and relaxing.
Therefore
,
sports
classes
should be compulsory in
schools
.
Nevertheless
, the kinds of
sports
children
play should be selected by themselves.
In addition
,
schools
should provide numerous
sports
classes
for
children
to choose from
according to
their preferences. In the US,
for instance
, they offer many
sports
classes
,
such
as football, tennis and baseball
classes
, for high schoolers.
Moreover
, they
also
provide
sports
clubs and teams for
sports
lovers to join after school hours. Participating in
sports
teams can
also
benefit students in various ways,
such
as building strong relationships between members and creating pride in the players themselves.
Furthermore
, involving in
sports
will benefit
children
's health much more than spending time in front of their screens.
This
will
also
give
children
numerous skills
such
as teamwork skills.
This
skill will not only be useful for
children
through their education but
also
help towards their professional eras. In conclusion, I agree that
schools
should consider
sports
lessons as a compulsory course
due to
the fact that they improve
children
's health and skills that will be useful both in the present and in their later lives.
Submitted by bellchatpavee on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a good response to the task, including reasons and examples, consider elaborating more on the argument for compulsory sports lessons and addressing potential counterarguments. Adding more depth will strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, using more transitional phrases and ensuring each idea flows seamlessly into the next would enhance coherence and cohesion. For example, use terms like "Firstly," "Additionally," "Moreover," etc., more consistently to guide the reader.
introduction conclusion present
The essay starts with a clear introduction and thesis statement, which sets the stage for the discussion.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the practices in the US, which strengthen the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's agreement with the compulsory sports lessons.

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