People should follow the local customs and traditions when they come to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country

It is said individuals should follow the local

customs

and

traditions

when they come to live in

a new nations

Correct the article-noun agreement

a new nation

new nations

show examples

. I totally agree with

this

statement because

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

local

customs

and

traditions

can enhance

Correct article usage

the

show examples

personal and professional

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

of foreign

people

To begin

with, there are several reasons why I believe

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

local

customs

and

traditions

can improve

Correct article usage

the

show examples

personal and professional

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

of foreign

people

. Regarding personal

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

local

customs

and

traditions

Add an article

the

show examples

sign of respect for local

people

For example

, in some cultures

leaves

Wrong verb form

leaving

show examples

shoes outside of the house is

necessary

Add an article

a necessary

the necessary

show examples

thing, which

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foreign

people

this

thing they can gain

respect

Correct article usage

the respect

show examples

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

local

people

Therefore

, foreign

people

can avoid problems related to

difference

Replace the word

different

show examples

cultures.

Furthermore

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

local

customs

and

traditions

mean

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

foreign

people

are open-mind, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can help foreign

people

to make relationships with local inhabitants in

easy

Change the article

an easy

show examples

way. When it comes to professional

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

, foreign

people

who follow local

customs

and

traditions

are more likely to get a better jobs opportunity.

This

is because some companies need employees who can accept many

customs

and

traditions

in order to mitigate cultural conflicts in workplaces.

Moreover

, if the foreign employees follow local

customs

and

traditions

in workplaces they will become less likely to face culture shock.

Consequently

, less culture shock

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

mental health issues namely, depression,

anxiety

Correct word choice

and anxiety

show examples

related to

encounter

Wrong verb form

encountering

show examples

a new culture, which

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

the

prodcutivity

Correct your spelling

productivity

of foreign employees in workplaces will

boosts

Add a missing verb

be boosts

show examples

To sum up

, I strongly believe foreign

people

should follow the local

customs

and

traditions

in order to improve their personal and professional

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

and avoid problems related

difference

Fix the infinitive

to difference

show examples

cultural.

Submitted by faiz3177 on Thu Jul 27 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People should follow the local customs and traditions when they come to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In a nutshell, both the public and private organisations should come forward to educate and create awareness among small businesses to update themselves with recent technological devices to make the growth of their customers convenient and easy like the use of smart ways to make payments.

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people prefer to spend more time improving their careers. Others think that it’s more important to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.