IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

These days people do not go out for live performances or concerts and they prefer to enjoy watching them on computers and laptops. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modernised era , everything is available on the internet . Nowadays, most
people
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 prefer live
performances
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 or concerts watch on a laptop, television and mobile because it is very convenient . I voted against
such
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 a viewpoint to a large extent. My given in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
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 with , the convenience and accessibility provided by computers and laptops have revolutionized the way
people
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 consumed entertainment . The availability of live
performance
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 on the Internet not only save time but
also
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 save transportation cost .
Moreover
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 , live
concert
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 tickets are very expensive , some
people
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 can not efforts a higher price , so
this
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 is the best way to enjoy live
performances
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 at their own houses.
Furthermore
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, the live
performance
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 stadium is extremely crowded,
therefore
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 ,
people
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 disabled can not attend a
performance
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 .
Consequently
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, they watch concerts on laptops or mobiles.
On the contrary
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 , the digital platform can not replicate the live one .
Firstly
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, the atmosphere being physically present in a
concert
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 hall or area is unique . The energy and enthusiasm shared among the audience create an amazing experience which can not give on screen .
Secondly
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 , the artist showcases their talent on stage which is unfiltered .
However
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 , the digital screen shows the passive experience of the
concert
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 or live
performance
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 .
Thirdly
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 , most live
performances
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 are organized by charities or NGOs for the profit of
concert
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 charities for those
people
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 who needed. In conclusion ,
while
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 it is true that an increasing number of
people
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 are choosing to enjoy live
performances
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 and concerts on the computer . I strongly disagree with the notion that
this
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 preferred physical presence unique atmosphere and unfiltered talent on display in live
performance
Use synonyms
 cannot be replicated via digital media.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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