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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Wars and conflicts over land and money have always
stayed
Verb problem
been
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 a compulsory part of society in the past. Millions of people have lost their lives and belongings in that race of the leaders who wanted to be immortal by power. A few of them were based on survival yet most of them were fought just out of greed.
As a result
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, it is often believed that if women were given the opportunity to rule
instead
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 of men, the world would have been a more peaceful place to live. I highly agree with
this
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 statement as women are always kind-hearted and better in communication skills as compared to their male counterparts. First of all, the biggest relation and emotion on the earth is motherhood and
that is
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 the best description of women's personalities.
Likewise
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, it is instilled in females to be always caring and forgiving towards others.
For example
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, even if you
see
Verb problem
look
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 around, you will always find that your mother or sisters are taking care of everyone in the house. The same is applied whenever a woman has been given the power to rule as she is always more empathetic and will always think about the safety and security of the population first.
Secondly
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, females are found to be more convincing when it comes to dialogues.
For instance
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, a lot of countries now prefer to employ female foreign ministers as they are better at communication and can resolve conflicts without getting aggressive.
Therefore
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, it is likely that female leaders are more proactive in approach when it comes to image building of the nation and resolving a deadlock
To conclude
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, I would like to say that
this
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 soft and fragile gender is actually a survivor and will always be. They are better at bearing the pain and are ready all the time to give their blood and sweat to those whom they love. If they
will be
Wrong verb form
are
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 given a chance to take the lead, our earth will become more accommodating and loving towards deserved ones.

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coherence cohesion
You have presented a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points are supported with relevant examples, however, be sure to link your ideas more explicitly to maintain coherence and cohesion in your response.
task response
You have addressed the prompt effectively, providing a clear stance on the role of female leaders in promoting peace. Your ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. Ensure to stay focused on the prompt and avoid tangential arguments to improve task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender dynamics
  • militaristic policies
  • expansionist
  • diplomatic governance
  • risk-taking
  • societal norms
  • inclusive approach
  • collaborative governance
  • gender stereotypes
  • individual qualities
  • comprehensive approach
  • conflict resolution
  • aggression
  • historical context
  • colonial expansion
  • contemporary
  • male dominance
  • innate differences
  • peaceful governance
  • competitive strategies
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