IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

#childcare #courses #parents
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Parenting is one of the crucial roles in everyone's life. Some people think that
childcare
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 training
courses
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 should be compulsory for all
parents
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.
However
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, others believe that
childcare
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 is an instinct for individuals. I agree with the former notion and I will
also
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 discuss the benefits of
childcare
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 training classes in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, nowadays,
father-mother
Correct your spelling
fathers
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 are very busy earning money and they do not have
to
Change preposition
apply
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quality time
spend
Verb problem
apply
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with their kids. They do not know how to take care of their child.
Therefore
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, it is essential to enrol in
childcare
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 training programs. There are several benefits of
this
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 program.
Firstly
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, these types of organisations teach
parents
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 about active listening skills, positive reinforcement and conflict resolution.
Secondly
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,
childcare
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 programs
also
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 teach the nutrition of newborn babies. It is very difficult to maintain the nutrition of newborn babies.
For example
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,
parents
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 who have received training on appropriate nutrition and diet can provide their children with a balanced and healthy diet, leading to better physical growth and improved
overall
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 health.
In addition
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, parenting plays a vital role in life because it
would increase
Wrong verb form
increases
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 responsibility to being
parents
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consequently
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, they need to be patient.
Moreover
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, mandatory
childcare
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 training
courses
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 can act as a platform for
parents
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 to share experiences and learn from
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 partnering can be a challenging journey and have an opportunity to interact with other
parents
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, discuss problems and solve them. In conclusion, these
courses
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 provide
parents
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 with essential knowledge, practical skills and a supportive community for their children
such
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courses
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 contain enhancing perspective of children's internal skills development.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points. Use relevant and well-developed examples to enrich your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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