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Band 4.5

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

#childcare #courses #parents
Parenting is one of the crucial roles in everyone's life. Some people think that
childcare
 training
courses
 should be compulsory for all
parents
.
However
, others believe that
childcare
 is an instinct for individuals. I agree with the former notion and I will
also
 discuss the benefits of
childcare
 training classes in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with, nowadays,
father-mother
Correct your spelling
fathers
show examples
 are very busy earning money and they do not have
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quality time
spend
Verb problem
apply
show examples
with their kids. They do not know how to take care of their child.
Therefore
, it is essential to enrol in
childcare
 training programs. There are several benefits of
this
 program.
Firstly
, these types of organisations teach
parents
 about active listening skills, positive reinforcement and conflict resolution.
Secondly
,
childcare
 programs
also
 teach the nutrition of newborn babies. It is very difficult to maintain the nutrition of newborn babies.
For example
,
parents
 who have received training on appropriate nutrition and diet can provide their children with a balanced and healthy diet, leading to better physical growth and improved
overall
 health.
In addition
, parenting plays a vital role in life because it
would increase
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
 responsibility to being
parents
consequently
, they need to be patient.
Moreover
, mandatory
childcare
 training
courses
 can act as a platform for
parents
 to share experiences and learn from
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 partnering can be a challenging journey and have an opportunity to interact with other
parents
, discuss problems and solve them. In conclusion, these
courses
 provide
parents
 with essential knowledge, practical skills and a supportive community for their children
such
courses
 contain enhancing perspective of children's internal skills development.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points. Use relevant and well-developed examples to enrich your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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