Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? (Write 250 words.)

In the present day, the world is in the globalization era because we can connect together via social
media
such
as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Skype, Zoom, and Microsoft Teams, and the differentiation between countries
are becoming
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
decreasing. In my opinion,
this
trend
absolutely has more advantages than disadvantages of the social
media
that we normally use in
their
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
daily life. People worldwide can learn from their homes via online platforms
such
as Zoom, Microsoft Team, and Discord, which match someone who cannot attend the onsite classroom.
In addition
,
this
platform can record online classes so that people who miss the class can review the lessons in their free time.
For example
, I applied for the English online courses
last
year, which had grammar lessons, and classmates from various nationalities. When I joined it and answered the question wrong, my classmates corrected me and I could review the lesson if I could not attend the class.
Therefore
, one of the advantages of
this
trend
is that the worldwide population gains their knowledge from anywhere and our knowledge becomes close.
Moreover
, the other pros are we can update the new clothes fashion and share our ideas for developing it in the future. Even though we are close because of modern technology, online fraud is becoming a social issue in the present day because scammers use social
media
and try to access important information
such
as deposit account passwords, dates of birth, and identification numbers and take our money. So,
this
is one of the disadvantages of
this
trend
which everyone has ever met.
For instance
, my co-worker who will attend a meeting in South Korea next month with me had ever filled in his information on the fake website, but he did not know that
Correct article usage
the website
show examples
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
were fake.
As a result
, he lost his money, 5000 Bath, and warned me about
this
problem. In conclusion, people who follow the same
media
can gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
additional knowledge and share their
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online but fraud is the major problem of
this
trend
which we should
Add a missing verb
be concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
and
Change preposition
about and
show examples
reduce
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. If we can eliminate
this
problem, our countries will develop
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
and equal together.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay should have clearer paragraph divisions to distinguish between advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Try to use more varied sentence structures and avoid repetitive language to maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance readability and avoid misunderstanding.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, especially the discussion on online learning and fashion updates.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and provides a forward-looking statement.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: