The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.

#show #results #survey #exercise #objectives #locations #group #adults #years #age

The supplied illustrations of

two

charts

represents

Change the verb form

represent

show examples

the outcomes of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research about people's activities which make them happy and they are divided into

two

age groups under and over 30 years.

Overall

, it is obvious that

humanbeings

Correct your spelling

human beings

differ only in

two

parts of the survey,

this

means that they relish

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different things in

two

dissimilar actions. It is interesting to note that factors

such

as doing hobbies,

successing

Correct your spelling

succeeding

success

at work and other activities are

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

for both age groups,

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

it is clearly seen that achieving at work brings happiness for both of them more than other mentioned exercises.

However

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

adults under 30 have a priority on having a good appearance with

percentage

Add an article

a percentage

show examples

rate of 18%,

Correct word choice

and 20

show examples

% of people over 30 are inclined on having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better financial security.

Furthermore

, 15% of the younger part would rather go travelling,

while

14% of the

olders

Correct your spelling

older

would rather spend

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time with their families.

Submitted by amina07id on Fri Jul 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words two with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

155 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [179]
Nowadays some people believe that the problem regarding the extinction of trees and animals is most distinguished, whereas others contradict that opinion and suggest that the main issues are global warming, air pollution and climate change. In my opinion, environmental problems are the most important.
<4
band
It’s time to ban social media. It has been shown that it has made life worse for people all over the world, from politics, to self-image, to the spread of disinformation. It is a social experiment that has not worked and it is time to say goodbye.To what extent do you agree with the above statement?
It is a common belief that social media exersts a negative influence on individuals. I also agree that many people should be baned to use social media. This because social media has many problems all over the world.
7
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A longstanding debate continues over the kind of subjects university students should study. Some advocate for the freedom to choose one's courses, while others contend for a fixed set of subjects with future relevance. I strongly agree that pupils must be given the choice to select their majors, and, in this essay, I will be discussing the reasons for the same.
6
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say that an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think that there are benefits if society has more elderly. To what extent do the advantages of having ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In contemporary society, the problem raised by the increasing number of elders has been a topic of interest to the masses. Some individuals champion that the elderly population enhance the burden on governments, while a significant number of others posit that ageing does communities any favours. Although I do acknowledge that both sides have their merit, I am inclined to support that having more ageing in a society has more advantages, as I believe the elderly bring more benefits than problems.
7.5
band
You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was unusable. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item: - give details about the order you made - explain what was wrong with the item -tell the company what you want them to do about it
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with an item which I bought on an online platform of your shop. I am Judy Huang and purchased a black belt on the 4th of July. However, the overall purchasing process was great until the item was delivered.

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [179]

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was unusable. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item: - give details about the order you made - explain what was wrong with the item -tell the company what you want them to do about it