IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that smart phones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, people are indulged in their mobile phones all day. They prefer to use it for communication rather than communicate in person. And because of that, the interaction in
the
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apply

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society is decreasing. I strongly agree with the statement that
,
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 the most obvious reason is an augmentation of the use of mobiles. On the one hand,
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 advancements in technology, we can do everything on our
smartphonesphones
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smartphones phones

If you don’t want smartphonesphones to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. From ordering necessary things to communicating with relatives living
in
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abroad. It became our habit and we can not live without it. It is true that
,
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It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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 it makes out life more convenient and easy, but we are losing attachments with our friends and family members. In the past, people used to meet and gather to celebrate various festivals. But, today, they are celebrating it through video calls and messages rather than meeting in person. And people became more lonely and they enjoy their own company. Eventually, it impacts the community.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in our family too, when we are at our home, we prefer to use phones
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of talking with each other. We enjoy ourselves using mobile phones rather than sitting together and enjoying quality time with family members.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, interaction is becoming less
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
facilities
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the facilities

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 you can get from
smartphonesphones
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smartphones phones

If you don’t want smartphonesphones to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. You
donot
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do not

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need anyone's help or suggestions, because you can easily find it on mobile, using the Internet. So, there are no reasons for interacting with known persons or strangers.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, of course,
smartphonesphones
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smartphones phones

If you don’t want smartphonesphones to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

are useful in many ways, but, it is becoming a reason for destroying social interaction.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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