IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Why are some people who leave school early more successful compared with those who complete their studies. Provide reasons why they are more successful and what are the requirements for success?

#people #school #studies #requirements #success
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To become well-accomplished in
life
Use synonyms
, you need more than education. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to elaborate,
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 many drop-outs become
successful
Correct quantifier usage
more successful
show examples
 than, those who completed their schooling. Education is an important aspect to become
Use synonyms
Add an article
a success
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success
Replace the word
successful
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 in
life
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, but, it is not the only thing for anyone's
success
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. There are many
life
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 lessons, which you need to learn to top the field. In school or
Fix the agreement mistake
college
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colleges
Add a comma
,colleges
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 you gain only theoretical knowledge, to experience how things
done
Add the auxiliary verb
are done
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 in real
life
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, you need to get out in the open world.
Also
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, dedication towards your goal is one of the key requirements.
For instance
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, a very famous and talented cricketer and former team
India's
Change noun form
India
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 skipper Virat Kohli has no higher education. He simply focus on his aim to become a cricket and represent India on big stages and with his perseverance, he accomplished his goal. So, it does not require a degree or certificate to show your ability and excel in your field.
Furthermore
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, for excellence in one's
life
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, a focus on what he/she wants to do is
also
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 important. All successful people and failures are humans but, there are many differences between the two of them. The former
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have a strict routine in order to
accomplished
Change the verb
accomplish
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 their targets
Correct word choice
apply
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whereas
Linking Words
, to
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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lack strictness towards their aim.
Also
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, patience plays a major role in
success
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 rate, there are many cases, in which people lose patience and leave their target just because they do not want to try more. To recapitulate, the ones who get
success
Use synonyms
 in their respective field are not blessed. They have done hard work toward their goals, with patience and persistence.
Submitted by merchantnishith on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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