IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The Top Priority Of Businesses Is Making Money, And They Do Not Need To Have Social Responsibilities. To What Extent Do You Agree Or Disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that the greatest importance of businesses is generating profits, and it is not necessary for them to have public duty. In my opinion, I completely disagree. On the one hand, money nowadays is becoming more and more important not only do people race with time but they
also
Linking Words
 race with money. If you were a leader of the company, you would need money to pay many costs
such
Linking Words
 as employee wages, material bills, building payments, and expansion production.
Moreover
Linking Words
, whether the firm is long-term maintain or successful depends on how many assets that firm has.
In other words
Linking Words
, the corporation can make a contribution to society if it has good financial health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am convinced that the top priority of businesses is doing philanthropic degradation in order to contribute to the social community.
Therefore
Linking Words
, that company will be trusted lead to obtain more investment
also
Linking Words
 it can show generous bosses treat their employees, and labour well. In my opinion, I really like the idea that they can use their profit to make contributions to local charities, and orphanages. In conclusion, I would contend that companies should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: