Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #home #six #seven #years #school

Nowadays, some individuals opine that

children

have to stay at

home

and enjoy their

time

playing without enrolling in schools at

this

early

age

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

would argue that they must go to

school

as soon as possible.

Although

I am convinced that

children

have the right to enjoy themselves at

home

, I would support the second opinion that they must go to

school

as soon as possible.

Firstly

, those who advocate that kids have to stay at

home

, opine that they are too young to have any

school

commitments

such

as assignments or

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

therefore

their parents would have much

time

to teach them

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great values at

home

and to make them well-brought-up

children

In addition

, they will spend

this

time

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

with their siblings, and it would enhance and strengthen the family bond between

children

For instance

, In Egypt, most families tend to keep their offspring at

home

this

early

age

for these reasons

whereas

a minority of people send their young kids to

school

On the other hand

, it is essential for

children

to go to pre-education schools

Change preposition

show examples

this

early

age

for various purposes,

firstly

they will be involved in the education process early so that

this

will broaden their horizons, and make them able to proceed

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

other education stages,

moreover

, these institutions have many other facilities

besides

classrooms that

children

would love

such

as playgrounds and toys rooms,

thus

they will

also

be thrilled at

this

age

like they are in

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

For instance

, In Saudi Arabia,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

offers incentives to those families who

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

their kids in schools at

this

early

age

because the authorities are aware of the benefits

this

trend would bring. In conclusion,

although

it sounds natural for

children

to stay at

home

this

early

age

to play, and enjoy their

time

this

would come with issues,

hence

I do believe that the benefits of going to

school

outweigh the merits of staying

home

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Fri Jul 28 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Rich people are getting richer, and poor people are getting poorer. The gap between rich and poor people is widening. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowaday,more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a postive or negative development ?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?