IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.
#show #results #survey #exercise #objectives #locations #group #adults #years #age
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The given pie charts clearly illustrate the activities
made
Correct pronoun usage
that made
show examples
 people happy among a
group
 of
adutls
Correct your spelling
adults
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 20-50, and the
group
divided
Add a missing verb
was divided
show examples
 into two categories which are the participants
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged
Add a missing verb
are aged
show examples
 under 30 and over 30.
Overall
, being successful at work is the most significant reason to be happy in both teams,
however
, some factors (including having a good
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
, travelling, etc.) are changed
according to
 age in the given data. It
is clearly see
Change the verb form
is clearly seen
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is a
various
Replace the word
variation
show examples
 of 1%
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 being
achievement
Correct article usage
an achievement
show examples
 person
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the career path between
the
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
 under 30 and
the
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
 over 30. These amounts are 31% and 32% respectively. The number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
participants doing hobbies in the
group
 of less than 30 is lower than the
group
 of above thirties with 24% of the total amount.
Additionally
, the percentages of the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 factors in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both communities see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minor differences with 14% and 10%. Having a good feature is not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important in
the
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
 over 30 compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial stability which has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 20% ratio of the total activities.
This
 amount is similar to people who
aged
Add a missing verb
are aged
show examples
 under 30 and
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 happy with a good
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 at 18%. Travelling in the team of the younger participants and being with their family in the older
group
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
averaged 14.5 of the given pie charts.
Submitted by gficnm on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 3 times.
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