Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many are of the view that ex-convicts get transformed into good
people
Use synonyms
in society, and it is usually suggested that
such
Linking Words
individuals are the ideal ones to educate young adults on the negative effects of being involved in illegal activity. I totally disagree with the statement because
teenagers
Use synonyms
may not listen to a prisoner's idea and
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
other adults like teachers, parents, and the police should rather talk to
teenagers
Use synonyms
. Experience, they say is the best teacher; many believe that an individual who
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
gone through a situation gives a lecture about it.
However
Linking Words
,
teenagers
Use synonyms
might not trust a prisoner who has once committed a crime. They may not believe anything they say because they are seen to be bad citizens for doing something illegal.
For instance
Linking Words
, the teen may be of the notion that why should he or she follow advice from someone who could not obey rules but decided to break them,
this
Linking Words
might make the
teenagers
Use synonyms
not heed any advice from a past committer of crime,
therefore
Linking Words
, I disagree that they are the best
people
Use synonyms
to speak to
teenagers
Use synonyms
about the side effects of engaging in crimes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
teenagers
Use synonyms
can learn about illegal actions and their effects from various sources aside from lawbreakers who might even pose some risks to
people
Use synonyms
because one can not tell if they have indeed changed in a positive way. I believe it is safe for the police to talk to
teenagers
Use synonyms
as they
also
Linking Words
have experience with crimes and their drawbacks.
For example
Linking Words
, a seminar can be organized in school for students to be educated on “the life of a criminal” where they can acquire some knowledge.
Additionally
Linking Words
, teachers and parents can educate
teenagers
Use synonyms
as well.  In conclusion, I disagree that
people
Use synonyms
who were once criminals should educate
teenagers
Use synonyms
about their past experiences to prevent them from committing crimes because it might not be effective, but parents can take up that role.
Submitted by obdemawuena on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly to improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to elevate the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Demonstrate a wider variety of sentence structures and grammatical forms to enhance grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: