Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicine #treatments #doctors #development

Recently, the number of people with health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

who opt for alternative methods

such

as medicine and treatments

instead

of going to see

doctors

has increased. In my opinion,

this

viewpoint brings only disadvantages to our communities, the reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before a conclusion is reached. In the first place, the health problems or diseases will worsen as patients do not have an understanding of the symptoms and situations they encounter at that time. Buying their own medicines that are suggested on the internet, might lead them to get more bad effects on their bodies.

Moreover

, even if they are going to see therapists around patients' communities, most of them have no legit licenses which are given by related authorities,

for example

, the health organisation, which

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

they are not able to comprehend and analyse the diseases correctly as same as the

doctors

which familiar in

this

field. In the second place, self-treatment without knowledge affects the reliability of the doctor's occupation in the future.

For instance

, children who live with their elders who have been infected by

virus

Fix the agreement mistake

viruses

show examples

or bacteria

as well as

thinking that it is just a fever and buy their own medicines. After seeing their grandparents take some pills and feel better, it will lead to the misunderstanding of treatments.

Additionally

, these youngsters

then

believe that they do not need to listen to the

doctors

, only just do the same as their grandparents do. All in all, I strongly disagree with

this

viewpoint.

Although

, nowadays many people tend to treat themselves by taking medicines or treatments and do not go to hospitals. It is essential to let

doctors

analyse the issues with care and precision.

Besides

, these habits will pass through the younger generation, and teach them to believe and trust in

doctors

Submitted by nnatthinee on Sat Apr 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Develop your argument with clear, logical progression and use paragraphing to distinguish between points.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and audience engagement.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the given topic directly and maintains a clear position throughout, which shows strong task achievement.

coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

You've supported your main points with specific examples, which strengthens your argument and demonstrates critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Some people think that in this modern world, getting old is entirely bad. however other people believe that the life of old people is much better now that it was in past Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society?