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Band 7

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicine #treatments #doctors #development
Recently, the number of people with health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 who opt for alternative methods
such
 as medicine and treatments
instead
 of going to see
doctors
 has increased. In my opinion,
this
 viewpoint brings only disadvantages to our communities, the reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before a conclusion is reached. In the first place, the health problems or diseases will worsen as patients do not have an understanding of the symptoms and situations they encounter at that time. Buying their own medicines that are suggested on the internet, might lead them to get more bad effects on their bodies.
Moreover
, even if they are going to see therapists around patients' communities, most of them have no legit licenses which are given by related authorities,
for example
, the health organisation, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 they are not able to comprehend and analyse the diseases correctly as same as the
doctors
 which familiar in
this
 field. In the second place, self-treatment without knowledge affects the reliability of the doctor's occupation in the future.
For instance
, children who live with their elders who have been infected by
virus
Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
show examples
 or bacteria
as well as
 thinking that it is just a fever and buy their own medicines. After seeing their grandparents take some pills and feel better, it will lead to the misunderstanding of treatments.
Additionally
, these youngsters
then
 believe that they do not need to listen to the
doctors
, only just do the same as their grandparents do. All in all, I strongly disagree with
this
 viewpoint.
Although
, nowadays many people tend to treat themselves by taking medicines or treatments and do not go to hospitals. It is essential to let
doctors
 analyse the issues with care and precision.
Besides
, these habits will pass through the younger generation, and teach them to believe and trust in
doctors
.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Develop your argument with clear, logical progression and use paragraphing to distinguish between points.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and audience engagement.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the given topic directly and maintains a clear position throughout, which shows strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively communicates your ideas to the reader.
coherence cohesion
You've supported your main points with specific examples, which strengthens your argument and demonstrates critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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