IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with help that is not financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Whenever a poor nation is hit by
calamity
Correct article usage
a calamity
show examples
, the
government
Use synonyms
 and various
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 all over the world support it.
However
Linking Words
, critics think that the well-off nation should distribute gifts in kind
instead
Linking Words
 of monetary endowment. I agree with
this
Linking Words
Linking Words
although
Punctuation problem
, although
show examples
 there are a few
acceptions
Use the right word
exceptions
show examples
two
Punctuation problem
. Two
show examples
 reasons in favour of the idea and an exemption is explained below
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
conclusion
Check wording
exception
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, poor nations usually have corrupt governments which do not spend national
funds
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 monetary allocation from
ally
Replace the word
allied
show examples
 countries for the welfare of their subject.
As a consequence
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
capitalistic
Punctuation problem
, capitalistic
show examples
 grants do not reach the targeted area.
That is
Linking Words
 why people urge
ally
Replace the word
allied
show examples
 countries and charity
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 to provide basic necessities to beneficiaries.
For example
Linking Words
, various local newspapers reported that flood-hit areas in Pakistan did not receive all the relief
funds
Use synonyms
 allocated by
Correct article usage
the Uno
show examples
Uno
Use the right word
UNO
show examples
 in 2022. All in all,
instead
Linking Words
 of giving financial support to
suffers
Replace the word
sufferers
show examples
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 is better to provide basic commodities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, dependent nations have
Medicare
Correct article usage
a Medicare
show examples
 infrastructure and weak local body systems unable to fulfil the needs of people. As elected mayors do not get enough
funds
Use synonyms
 from the federal
government
Use synonyms
, which is why they are unable to develop efficient infrastructure in their town,
for example
Linking Words
, roads, railways, transportation, sewer, etc.
Consequently
Linking Words
, fellow citizens and charity
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 prefer to supply relief products like food
medicines
Punctuation problem
, medicines
show examples
 tents.
For example
Linking Words
, almost all of my friends and family members
denoted
Verb problem
donated
show examples
aid
Use synonyms
 items and fiscal
funds
Use synonyms
 to a local charity
instead
Linking Words
 of
provisional
Correct article usage
the provisional
show examples
 and central
government
Use synonyms
 fundraising camps. In a nutshell, people do not have trust in their
government
Use synonyms
 and infrastructure
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is why they are more likely to help their fellow nationals personally
instead
Linking Words
 of relying on local bodies. It can be concluded that relief
aid
Use synonyms
 is inevitable
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 financial
aid
Use synonyms
 cannot be ignored when needed. As
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
show examples
 of
aid
Use synonyms
 supplies decreases the chance of
Replace the word
fraud
show examples
fraudulence
Punctuation problem
fraudulence,
show examples
 it is better than fiscal support. Nations across the globe should join hands to help deprived countries
Change preposition
in either
show examples
either
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
 way.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas and make them easier to understand.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the task.
task achievement
You presented reasons to support your view, which is necessary for a good argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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