IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community
Sometimes it could be difficult to find a new
job
 after long-term unemployment, which could lead to the government having to support individuals for a longer period of time. Some people believe that these
job
-seekers should be put to use through voluntary
work
 as a token of appreciation for the nation's
good will
Correct your spelling
goodwill
show examples
. I
stronlgy
Correct your spelling
strongly
 agree with
this
 statement as bolstered below. There might be some reasons why those who have been out of
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
job
 for prolonged periods may be reluctant to
unpaid
Add a missing verb
do unpaid
show examples
commuity
Correct your spelling
community
work
.
Firstly
, the time invested affects that which could be well spent applying for specialised jobs or furthering their training. Moreso, some believe that
this
 could
further
 derail their careers. For
exapmple
Correct your spelling
example
, they might lose the zeal for their skilled training
while
 taking up an unpaid tangential
job
, which will contribute nothing to their
job
 path.
However
, I strongly believe
reverse
Add an article
the reverse
show examples
 is the case for the latter sentence. In the first place, voluntary
work
 is deemed as
work
 experience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
therefore
 could be the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
boost that one's CV might desperately need.
Secondly
, giving back to the community is a show of good faith and gratitude for all the support the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 has rendered.
Finally
, community service could keep both body and mind occupied, which not only prevents unnecessary idleness
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but could be the inspiration one needs to make a significant change in their career. In summary, taking part in voluntary
work
 could be extremely instrumental for someone who has been out of
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 for a long time,
while
also
 being
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 appreciative gesture for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society's and
Correct article usage
the goverment's
show examples
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
 support through their ordeal. It should be vehemently championed, as it brings a myriad of advantages which overshadow the disadvantages.
Submitted by eric.nordstroem on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: