IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

4.Many cities replace farmlands and parks with houses. Is it a positive or negative development? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

#cities #farmlands #parks #houses #development
It has been observed that
due to
 the surge in urban population, the problem of accommodation has become increasingly prominent. To overcome
this
 issue, the authorities converted farmland and vacant land into housing. In my opinion, it has a negative impact on both the environment and humans, which will be discussed below.
Firstly
, an increasing number of individuals are moving to urban regions in search of improved prospects.
As a result
, there is a significant increase in the demand for residential areas. In order to minimize the severity of
this
 situation, the Housing Board established a new society by destroying farmland and opening up gardens.
This
 will have a negative impact on the environment. In detail, cutting down trees and reducing green spaces are responsible for increasing the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
This
 will cause global warming.
For example
, in the developing country of India, the sprawl of the metropolis of Ahmedabad brought about by urbanization has led to increased environmental pollution. The province is reportedly listed as the most polluted
due to
 deforestation around the South Bhopal region. One of the regions of the world.
Furthermore
, it could lead to the extinction of many plant and animal species.
This
 means that human activities have destroyed the habitats of animals and plants.
Moreover
, it has
also
 affected the agriculture industry. Indeed, building houses on farmland can decrease agricultural activity and impact vegetable production.
Therefore
, there may be food shortages in the future.
For example
,
according to
 global news reports, continued urbanization or replacing fertile soils with dwellings is expected to drastically reduce the area of soil responsible for food production in the coming years. All in all, replacing open parks and farms with accommodations by governing bodies will have non-negligible impacts,
such
 as pollution of the surrounding environment and reduced food production.
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task response
Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the points you are making. Try to provide more detailed evidence and analysis to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences could enhance coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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