IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the map a below shows the ground floor of a particular art gallery in 2005. plan b shows the same area in the present day. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the map a below shows the ground floor of a particular art gallery in 2005. plan b shows the same area in the present day. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#ground #floor #art #gallery #plan #b #area #information #features #comparisons
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,The two given maps illustrate the changing of
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
 ground floor from 2005 to the present.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
area
Use synonyms
 facilities have been completed by more sophisticated technology,
in particular
Linking Words
 vending machine and lift.
In addition
Linking Words
,
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
 hall emerged in the middle of
ground
Add an article
the ground
show examples
 floor near to receptionist. Upon the observation of the maps, the three
exhibition
Use synonyms
 rooms
remained
Add the particle
toremained
show examples
 exist and a lift was constructed near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exhibition
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 3.
Receptionist
Correct article usage
The receptionist
show examples
area
Use synonyms
relocated
Add a missing verb
was relocated
show examples
 from the corner
area
Use synonyms
 to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
area
Add an article
the area
show examples
 which
Add a missing verb
is near
show examples
near
Change the verb form
nears
show examples
 to entrance hall. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
, today's art
Use synonyms
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
also
Linking Words
 provide
disable
Wrong verb form
disabled
show examples
facilitiy
Correct your spelling
facility
facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
wheel chair
Correct your spelling
wheelchair
show examples
 ramp. Shifting to another side of
map
Add an article
the map
show examples
, in 2005, there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
exhibition
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 4 on the left side of
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, today, the
room
Use synonyms
 has been
tranformed
Correct your spelling
transformed
 into 2 new
Use synonyms
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 namely
temporary
Correct article usage
the temporary
show examples
exhibition
Use synonyms
 and
children's
Correct article usage
the children's
show examples
area
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Gallery
Correct article usage
the Gallery
show examples
 office and Cafe
also
Linking Words
 disappeared to make way for building the
gallery
Use synonyms
 shop with
vending
Add an article
a vending
show examples
 machine in front of it.
Submitted by zia_ardhi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gallery, area, exhibition, room with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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