More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be e the consequences of this ?what solution can you offer?

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A dramatic increase in movement from rural to urban in recent years has sparked controversy about its impact on agriculture۔ I can attribute
this
issue to a number of factors. In
this
essay, I will present an overview of these factors and suggest some possible solutions. One of the most telling factors associated with
this
urban migration to rural lies in the fact that cities provide higher levels of education. Not only, better opportunities for work with a high pay scale might
also
be helpful to enjoy a better lifestyle as compared to urban.
Besides
,
Agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
requires a specific strength that our youth is not able to give. An example of
this
scenario can be seen in the United Kingdom,
according to
a report of
last
year youth moved to cities because of convenience as compared to villages.
However
, there are several solutions to address
this
problem. Primarily, provide facilities properly in rural areas
such
as banks, Hospitals, universities etc.
This
single step has the potential to yield some positive results.
In addition
, develop better techniques in the agriculture system so that, the scope of the field could increase and people get good earnings.
Last
but not least, Build factories near villages so people can work in shifts by continuing with their own agriculture. In a nutshell, Given the potential impact of the growing population in cities, Until we develop a more nuanced approach, in which success in coping with
this
issue is contingent , All our efforts will go awry, If not in vain.
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence in the structure of the introduction and conclusion. The introduction does not provide a clear preview of the main points, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the key arguments. Ensure that the introduction presents a clear thesis statement and that the conclusion reinforces the main ideas presented in the essay.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the response is not complete. It touches upon the factors and solutions related to urban migration but does not fully develop the ideas or provide in-depth analysis. The essay would benefit from a more comprehensive approach to addressing the consequences and solutions of the urban migration from an agricultural background.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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