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Band 4

Student should spend time working before begining their University studies.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #time #university #studies
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 think that student shall spend
time
 working before starting their
University
 education.The
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
writers
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
show examples
 with
this
 statement and will
demonstate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
the
Change the word
their
his
her
show examples
 opinion about it. On the one hand,students after finishing their high school graduate
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will go to their
University
 studies.But some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 will go to work straightly to make
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 early for their family or themselves,it is very risky but it is a good choice to create a good
life
 in the
planned
Replace the word
plan
show examples
.They can make family early,prepare for their
life
,have more experience in the
future
,
not
Correct word choice
and not
show examples
 worry about the cash or dependent on their family.They can make a good
life
 even better,it is
also
 a premise for their children.
On the other hand
,if you go straightly to
University
 education,you will have more opportunities to find more jobs which can help make lots of money in the planned,student after finishing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high school graduate,
they
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 usually have more
time
 to prepare
their
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
University
 studies to get a good start in their
future
 and
then
 they will go to
University
.If they spend
time
 working before starting their
University
 studies,they will not have a good start and very risky,most of company or factories need
people
 who had graduate from
university
,they need it because they want
people
 to have
knowledge
Change the article
the knowledge
show examples
 to do hard work to boost their company or factory,it
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
 very difficult but the result is very pleasing for you.Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students will choose
this
 way for their
future
,at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
time
 it
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 hard to do it but if you pass
this
 challenge,you will be very
successfully
Change the word
successful
show examples
 in the
future
. In conclusion,the safest way for your
future
 is
going
Change the verb form
to go
show examples
straightly
Change the word
straight
show examples
 to
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
show examples
 institution education,it a good choice for your
life
,it maybe wastes your
life
 a little bit but the result is very pleasing.
Moreover
,when you study at
University
 you will have more experience and knowledge for your job to make a lot of money to prepare your
life
 and your family.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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