IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The top priority of businesses is making money, adn they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #adn #responsibilities
There is a controversy about enterprises' value of generating profits above social responsibilities. In
this
 essay, I strongly disagree with the priority of companies without the duty of public responsibilities. On the one hand, The distribution of money causes these firms to have unphilanthropic actions, which means the corporation will have some effects on the environment, either citizens' lives. Delving into the problem, a strong lucrative field comes with a numerous number of companies, which means each individual business will establish more branches in order to maximize their income.
Due to
this
, the lack of space and trees will happen to be a sequence of disasters, which can refer to as floods or soil erosions.
For instance
, a company
that is
 in charge of development will create more opportunities to strengthen its profits by establishing more branches, especially in cities. Trees will be cut off and the frequency of calamity will occur more than usual.
On the other hand
, job opportunities will be narrowed
due to
 the limited range of work. If a company create more branches to solidify its revenue, none of the other firms will be able to expand their job offers, which means citizens or workers can only participate in a limited variety of work.
As a result
, the lucrative field of that company will not have the best consequence
due to
 the lack of staff and their limited range of work. In conclusion, money is not the priority of everything and social responsibilities are needed for each participant, none of these corporations should prioritize the importance of cash.
Hence
,
this
 essay has given evidence to clarify the opinion.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: