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Band 7

Nowadays, people normally stretch their working hours and get stressed then before. what are the reason for this? what employers can do to make people’s life easier?

#people #stretch #hours #reason #employers #people’s #life
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Undoubtedly, the working environment of corporate jobs is nearly unpredictable and sometimes employers would have to work extra time to complete their assessment.
However
, these stretching
hours
 could result in mental and physical stress. That's why an individual should need to maintain their work and
life
 balance.
To begin
 with, in a modernised world, the majority of workers are commonly combined within 9 to 5 working
hours
, which sometimes would have extended because of an excessive workload. In
this
 situation, employers have to compromise several important
life
 moments,
while
 they get paid extra for advanced jobs.
As a result
, many of them would have to suffer from a load of anxiety and stress issues, and they could not do anything about
this
 complication.
Therefore
 people simultaneously lose their personal growth balance with the responsibility of family and with stability in health, by extending their working
hours
.
On the other hand
, employees should have to scrutinise their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 optimally,
whereas
 managing their meeting
hours
, projects and so on would have to
complete
Wrong verb form
be completed
show examples
 within office
hours
.
Due to
this
, they will provide enough occasion for their own wellness, yet
also
 equalising performance and
life
 scenarios would be plentiful.
For example
, corporate job employees should not bring their insights and office work with them whenever they leave their office, because
this
 will
also
 bring headaches to them.
In addition
, meditating or pursuing hobbies in between recess
hours
 could be distinguished for achieving mindfulness and calmness.
This
 approach could make an employee's livelihood simpler and a lot easier.
To conclude
, scheduling working time is a major factor determining in management of human
life
, but increasing working
hours
 can
also
 be optimised without bringing any stress or mental problems.
Submitted by user349953 on

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task response
The essay addresses the given topic and provides a clear discussion on the reasons for the increasing working hours and suggestions for employers to make life easier for employees.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows a good logical structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples and suggestions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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