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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. why is this the case? Do you think it is positive or negative development.

#children #hours #phones #case #development
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In
modern
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the modern
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 era, technology is ruling the
world
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, where anyone can access
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological gadgets easily irrespective of their age.
This
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 is why, the trend of using cell phones is at its peak among young children
that is
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 affecting their daily
routine
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routines
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. Considering
this
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 situation, it made the people
to
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apply
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give a thought about the root cause behind it, which I will elaborate
further
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 in my essay. To commence with reasons, the dominant point is parents usually do not spend much time with their children these days.
Instead
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 of engaging with them, guardians hand in their mobile phones to them, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 the minors
to
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apply
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access social media platforms that fascinate them by offering
option
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the option
an option
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 to connect to anyone in the
world
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. To exemplify, applications
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok and many more
attracts
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attract
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number
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a number
the number
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 of individuals, particularly the most vulnerable age group,
due to
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its
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their
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 accessibility to any sort of content and keep them more connected with
virtual
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the virtual
a virtual
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world
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, they become addicted
of
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to
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 using small electronic gadgets. I personally assume that the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 trend has detrimental effects on
the
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apply
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society. The major impact is
encouragement
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the encouragement
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 of
sedentary
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a sedentary
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 lifestyle among young minds. They
kept
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are kept
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 glued
with
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to
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 the screen for longer hours
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 decreases their body movement and involvement in the real
world
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, which can hamper their physical and cognitive development. To elaborate
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this
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on this
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 more, a study conducted by The Times of India demonstrated that
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 is becoming one of the prominent causes of obesity in
juviniles
Correct your spelling
juveniles
.
Therefore
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, various physical or psychological issues could be encountered by them later in their life. In conclusion, on the basis of
abovementioned
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the abovementioned
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 facts, it can be considered that it has become significant to address
this
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 issue. If parents pay complete attention
on
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to
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 their little ones, it can be overcome promptly.
Submitted by meghnabawa91 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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