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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart shows how chewing gum is produced.

The chart shows how chewing gum is produced.
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The flowchart describes the
process
Use synonyms
 of turning raw
materials
Use synonyms
 into perfect candy that can be consumed, known as chewing gum.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
process
Use synonyms
 takes seven steps, which
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
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 with putting the raw
materials
Use synonyms
 into a giant box and
then
Linking Words
 melting them. After some time, the
materials
Use synonyms
 will be strained. Once the
materials
Use synonyms
 are strained, square nets are needed to filter and store them
into
Change preposition
in
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 the box.
Then
Linking Words
, the
materials
Use synonyms
 inside the box will be mixed with supporting items
such
Linking Words
 as
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
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, softeners, and sweeteners to make it tasteful. After the blending
process
Use synonyms
 is complete, it will be pushed through a sheet machine to make it thin and longer so that it can be cut into pieces. When the long pieces are ready, they will be put on long grid boards in preparation for the cutting and breaking
process
Use synonyms
.
Next,
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the breaking machine will be used to cut them into smaller pieces.
Finally
Linking Words
, the chewing gum only needs to be packed and is
then
Linking Words
 ready to be consumed.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, materials with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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