IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
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It is a debatable issue, whether working before beginning their
university
Use synonyms
 studies is helpful for
students
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 or not. So I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 graduates should learn more practical knowledge because it helps
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 have communication skills and be more confident in their imminent life. The first idea
,
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apply
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 is to
supports
Wrong verb form
support
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students
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 to gain work experience, which will ultimately lead to a good position in a company after a period of
time
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 when they have more good qualifications.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
students
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 that spend
time
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 working, spend
time
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 gain experience from working will find employment without any hardship. So
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working experiences help
Use synonyms
Add an article
the student
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 have a good life after graduation, and the unemployment rate will be lower than the rest of the
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 that didn’t spend
time
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 working before beginning their
university
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 studies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 shouldn’t
working
Change the verb form
work
be working
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 before
start
Change the verb form
starting
show examples
university
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course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
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. People believe that their children would spend more
time
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 on their
university
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 education and the
students
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 mustn’t work to gain
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
. They think if their child working, it will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the academic achievement of their children. When the
students
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 graduate, the employment rate is 50/50, the
student
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 can get a job if they have enough confidence, qualifications and communication skills. And if
students
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 don’t have those skills, the unemployment
ratios
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ratio
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 will be higher. In short,
that is
Linking Words
 my true
believe
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belief
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, a lot of qualifications without
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 experience
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 completely worthless.
However
Linking Words
, it is beneficial to spend a significant amount of
time
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 on fieldwork prior
or
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to or
show examples
 something like that to graduate school.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
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