Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

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Nowadays, in spite of the fact that art is a great deal for all the cultures on the planet, people are more interested in science, technology and business, and the numbers are increasing day by day and fewer people appreciate artwork! As history shows, artists make less money than others and normally have a hard time managing their bills, so

this

could be one of the reasons that when it comes to finding a job, individuals normally pick anything but art. Well, can you blame them? Nobody wants to be poor like Beethoven, Davinci and etc.

Therefore

, parents most of the time lead their kids to colleges and universities to be an engineer, Dr, etc.

However

, we can not yet, deny the effect of it on our cultures and how much it is necessary for society!

Furthermore

, if governments encourage young folks to go towards artwork by making them sure about their future and supporting them financially, for ,example build special places for painters to through painting galleries for free in order to show and sell their paintings to others,

this

could make youth consider their artistic talent a gift and choose it as a career. Eventually, in conclusion, we can say, every day that passes upon us, fewer people care about art and if the government does nothing now,

then

it fades away over time and nothing can be done to prevent it. So, before it gets too late, politicians should think of a solution to support artists both spiritually and financially.

Submitted by arezoo.ariaa on Mon Jul 31 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Economic growth
STEM subjects
Job security
Financial success
Pragmatic
Utilitarian pursuits
Art education
Inclusive
Engaging
Contemporary society
Social issues
Environmental themes
Digital platforms
Virtual museums
Interactive art

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.