IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe thatstudying at university or college is the best route to a succesfull carrer,while other believe that is better to get a job strainght after graduating from high school.Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #university #college #route #succesfull #carrer #job #strainght #school
Nowadays, it is easy to see the important role of the university and
this
 has a big effect to the social. Many ideas show that going to
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
show examples
 or college is the best way to a successful carrier,
while
 some argue that getting straight work after graduating from high school is superior. In the essay below I will show both views two opinions.
Firstly
, with go to university and college have plenty of advantages in our knowledge, we know that studying gives us a numerous information about our field and make us more opportunity to promote our role
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our work.
Moreover
, when we study in a good environment so
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can give us more time to engage ourselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and enjoy
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 teenage time more before enter in our
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. On the one ,hand the job we get depends on our degree, it shows how far our potential can reach and the exact of our skills.
Therefore
, going to
educational
Add an article
an educational
the educational
show examples
 institution or college can get great advantages with the conditions that we have a plan to grow and improve our minds. Turning to the contrast, getting an early job can give us the soon wage and experience.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 when we enter life earlier than each other at the same age, we will face many problems and if we try to solve that, with equals bring us a lesson and we can undergo many different circumstances.
Furthermore
, we will get a wage and can start an independent life, we can buy anything we want with the money we make and can give it to our parents as a repayment to them. In conclusion, each point of view has clear and reasonable ideas.It totally depends on your decision and how you do that. Success will belong to a worthy person like a reward.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: