IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In today’s rapidly changing world, opinions differ regarding the importance of preserving traditional
culture
Use synonyms
. Some argue that modern societies are losing interest in cultural heritage,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that maintaining traditional ways of life is still valued by many.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On one hand, it is undeniable that
globalization
Use the right word
globalisation
show examples
 and technological advancement have significantly altered people’s lifestyles. Many young individuals,
in particular
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, are more attracted to global trends
such
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 as fast fashion, social media, and international pop
culture
Use synonyms
 than to their own traditions.
Urbanization
Use the right word
Urbanisation
show examples
also
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 plays a role, as people move to cities and adopt more modern habits, often leaving behind local customs and values.
For example
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, traditional clothing, languages, and rituals are increasingly being replaced by more contemporary practices in many countries.
On the other hand
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, there are still strong efforts around the world to protect and celebrate cultural identity. Festivals, national holidays, and traditional crafts are being preserved and even
revitalized
Use the right word
revitalised
show examples
 through education and tourism. In some regions, local communities take pride in teaching the younger generation about their heritage, understanding that
culture
Use synonyms
 is a source of identity, unity, and continuity.
Moreover
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, governments and cultural institutions often fund projects to support traditional music, art, and storytelling. In my opinion,
while
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 modern life has certainly influenced the way people live, traditional
culture
Use synonyms
 still holds great value. It not only connects us with our roots but
also
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 enriches society by promoting diversity and history.
Therefore
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, I believe a balance should be maintained
—
Punctuation problem
,
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embracing modernity
while
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 respecting and preserving the cultural heritage that defines us.

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Task Response
The introduction is clear and presents the main ideas well. However, you could add a brief statement about your own opinion in the introduction to give a stronger guide to the reader.
Task Response
In the body paragraphs, make sure each main point is well supported with specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your ideas clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have good links between ideas, but try to vary your linking words to make the essay more interesting and less repetitive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your views well, but it could be made stronger by briefly restating the key points from the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.
Task Achievement
Your essay discusses both sides of the argument, which shows you understand the topic well and can consider multiple viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • traditional customs
  • cultural heritage
  • personal identity
  • community identity
  • folk traditions
  • cultural roots
  • cultural preservation
  • societal norms
  • modern influences
  • cultural evolution
  • intergenerational transmission
  • cultural significance
  • relevance of traditions
  • identity formation
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