The plans below show. Public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The maps of grange
park
illustrate the detail of the
park
that was opened for the first time in 1920 and has developed every part of position
such
as the disappearance of the stage for musicians or water spring
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and increasing rose
garden
.
Therefore
,recently the
park
has changed a lot to better than before. Look at the detail deeply,There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
2 entrance which is the same as in 1920.
On the
Change preposition
The
show examples
top gate is on the
side
of Arnoldo
avenue
Capitalize word
Avenue
show examples
street and another one is on the
side
of Eldon Street,after walking through the entryway will see a regular fountain in the middle of the
garden
that has changed to a large rose flower
garden
.
Also
,The Seats around the
park
have been moved to surround the rose
garden
.
Moreover
,on the east
side
of the plans,the pond for water plants and glasshouse is replaced with a children’s play area and water feature,and next to
children’s
Correct article usage
the children’s
show examples
playground is a cafe
instead
old rose
garden
.
Furthermore
,there is an introduction of an amphitheatre for concerts to the west
side
of the plan which extends to the area where the stage for musicians used to be.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
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