IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? You should write at least 254 words.

#minutes #people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, an increasing number of
media
Use synonyms
 cover
celebrities
Use synonyms
' lives.
People
Use synonyms
 can easily access information about the superstar through television and handphones.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it impacts
children
Use synonyms
 as
children
Use synonyms
 are good imitators. In fact, I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for two main reasons. The main reason is
youngsters
Use synonyms
 can imitate
celebrities
Use synonyms
' lifestyles. It is believed that
youngsters
Use synonyms
 can easily imitate the
people
Use synonyms
 that they admire. By watching
celebrities
Use synonyms
 through
media
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 can idolize the celebrity.
However
Linking Words
, the superstar lifestyle can be unfit for
youngsters
Use synonyms
. For illustration, teenagers wear too much make-up to school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they want to be the centre of attention of
people
Use synonyms
 in the school. They believe by getting more attention they will become famous just like the artists. They will do anything to achieve it even doing bad things
such
Linking Words
 as pranking their friends.
As a result
Linking Words
, they become misbehaved. The following reason is students become lazy. The luxury shown by superstars can affect the way
children
Use synonyms
 think. They believe that they can be successful without formal education because they watch television and their idol does not have any educational background.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it makes them do not put learning as a priority anymore.
For instance
Linking Words
, pupils will feel reluctant to review materials and do their homework at home.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they get bad scores in their academic performance.
To sum up
Linking Words
, not only will coverage of
celebrities
Use synonyms
 in
media
Use synonyms
 probably cause
youngsters
Use synonyms
 to misbehave, but it will
also
Linking Words
 lead them to show bad performance in academics. I have no doubt that parents should limit their
children
Use synonyms
's time to access the
media
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: