IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some imformation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world #belive #imformation
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Some individuals think that it is beneficial to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientific and academic facts with general
people
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,
while
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 others believe that some sorts of
information
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 are too precious to be disclosed easily and freely.
Although
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 sharing
information
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 in some fields can be fruitful, disclosing some valuable facts without any charge might be detrimental
,
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apply
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 because some persons and countries might abuse these worthy facts, and endanger both global peace
,
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apply
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 and personages’ lives. On one hand, some
people
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 hold the idea that sharing academic
data
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 without any charge
,
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apply
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 would bring about positive impacts. Through
this
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 process,
people
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 would enrich their knowledge, and prevent negative consequences that they might face in some specific situations. To exemplify, during
COVID-19
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the COVID-19
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 pandemic,
masses
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the masses
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 could gain valuable
information
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 through verified resources, like WHO, and by being aware of new discoveries about
this
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 illness, a vast majority of them could prevent COVID’s fatal consequences.
On the other hand
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, I opine that
this
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 limitless
data
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 disclosure
,
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apply
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 might lead to harmful consequences. Primarily, there are some sensitive fields
such
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 as physics or some fields of engineering, which are related to national security, and a nation’s policy.
By
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With
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 easy access of political rivals, or unprofessional
researches
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research
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 to these
data
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, the safety and security of millions of
people
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 would be threatened, because they would utilize
these
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this information
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information
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 in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
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 way and for
their
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apply
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violent purposes,
hence
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 there would lead to worldwide a catastrophe. To illustrate, some educational institutions in the United States, are now conducting secret experiments on special weapons. If they manifest their discoveries easily to
general
Correct article usage
the general
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people
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, their political rivals,
such
Linking Words
 as Russia or North Korea, would use these
data
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 to
threat
Replace the word
threaten
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world’s
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world
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 peace, to just achieve their political goals against their components. In conclusion, though some types of scientific
information
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,
such
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 as medical ones are sharable and can help
people
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 in positive ways, I think that disclosing some sorts of classified
data
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 freely
,
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apply
show examples
 would be a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 of abuse for some ignorant countries and unprofessional
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
.
Submitted by mohammadmgh1381 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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