In certain countries, unemployment is so high that some have suggested children should stop their education after primary school to learn skills necessary to join the workforce. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the growing unemployment rate, many countries think children should stop receiving
education
Use synonyms
after primary school to join the workforce after training in necessary
skills
Use synonyms
. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
idea
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
various reasons. The most significant reason why I do not support the
idea
Use synonyms
is that I completely fail to see its effectiveness. If
this
Linking Words
idea
Use synonyms
were to be implemented immediately, society within a few years should expect an increase in the number of teenagers claiming that they are suitable to work. In
this
Linking Words
hypothetical situation, the older generations are still struggling to find jobs
due to
Linking Words
global unemployment.
As a result
Linking Words
, the competition for jobs will even be harsher for both generations.
This
Linking Words
solution is not effective as
this
Linking Words
would only generate more labour without job listings to accommodate them. Another reason why I think
this
Linking Words
idea
Use synonyms
is ill-advised is I believe that
education
Use synonyms
beyond primary school is essential. Primary schools only teach
students
Use synonyms
basic math and little language
skills
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
age have low self-discipline.
This
Linking Words
means that to prepare them for the workforce, they will need extensive
education
Use synonyms
to acquire both in-depth knowledge and soft
skills
Use synonyms
. The current
education
Use synonyms
system solves
this
Linking Words
problem by providing
students
Use synonyms
with academic knowledge and various opportunities to practice these
skills
Use synonyms
. Communication
skills
Use synonyms
and self-discipline are
also
Linking Words
trained through group assignments and the pressure to perform well. All in all,
this
Linking Words
new solution does not do anything that the current system cannot. In conclusion, I do not support the
idea
Use synonyms
because it is both ineffective and unoriginal. Unemployment rates have to be solved by other means, rather than proposing that
students
Use synonyms
quit formal
education
Use synonyms
at
such
Linking Words
a young age.
Submitted by uyenphuong.dtran on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: