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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

#art #part #society #expression #culture #children #focus #subjects
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It is commonly believed that
art
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 plays a fundamental role in society, as artists are able to express their thoughts and their culture in their work. In my opinion,
children
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 should definitely learn
art
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 because they can develop creativity and learn to express themselves in their artwork, but it should not be taught to the detriment of other
subjects
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.
Firstly
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,
art
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 is an essential subject that
children
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, especially young
children
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, should learn in order to help promote their creativity and imagination. Without the development of imagination and creative thinking,
children
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 will struggle to grow into dynamic, individual thinkers when they reach adulthood.
Furthermore
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, some
children
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 are particularly gifted in their creative abilities, and studying
art
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 can help them nurture their talents. Another important advantage for
children
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 when practising
art
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 is that it provides a medium through which they can express their emotions and feelings.
In other words
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,
children
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 can develop the talent to communicate their thoughts better through language and
thus
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 communicate directly.
Therefore
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, by using
art
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, they are able to convey emotions through pictures and artwork.
For
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this
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 reason, many child psychologists believe the artwork of
children
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 can give insight into what they think and feel.
Finally
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,
however
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, regardless of how useful the study of
art
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 is for
children
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,
this
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 should not result in more focus being placed on
art
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 rather than other
subjects
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.
Children
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 need to have a balance of all
subjects
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 so as to facilitate balanced development both mentally and physically.
Hence
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, ensuring that there is a healthy balance of
art
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, sciences, languages, and physical education in the school syllabus is of utmost importance.
To sum up
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,
while
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art
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 certainly helps
children
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 develop creativity
as well as
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 express their emotions, it should be taught equally alongside all other
subjects
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. A school curriculum should offer a balance of
subjects
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.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the two parts of the question: the importance of teaching art to children and whether they should focus more on art than other subjects. However, you could include a few more specific examples or case studies to elevate the task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are well-organized and logically sequenced, which makes your argument easy to follow. To further improve, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and referencing techniques to link your paragraphs more fluidly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, providing a sense of closure.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clearly defined paragraphs, each focused on a single main idea.
task achievement
Your arguments are well-supported and relevant to the question, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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