Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

It is commonly believed that
art
plays a fundamental role in society, as artists are able to express their thoughts and their culture in their work. In my opinion,
children
should definitely learn
art
because they can develop creativity and learn to express themselves in their artwork, but it should not be taught to the detriment of other
subjects
.
Firstly
,
art
is an essential subject that
children
, especially young
children
, should learn in order to help promote their creativity and imagination. Without the development of imagination and creative thinking,
children
will struggle to grow into dynamic, individual thinkers when they reach adulthood.
Furthermore
, some
children
are particularly gifted in their creative abilities, and studying
art
can help them nurture their talents. Another important advantage for
children
when practising
art
is that it provides a medium through which they can express their emotions and feelings.
In other words
,
children
can develop the talent to communicate their thoughts better through language and
thus
communicate directly.
Therefore
, by using
art
, they are able to convey emotions through pictures and artwork.
For
this
reason, many child psychologists believe the artwork of
children
can give insight into what they think and feel.
Finally
,
however
, regardless of how useful the study of
art
is for
children
,
this
should not result in more focus being placed on
art
rather than other
subjects
.
Children
need to have a balance of all
subjects
so as to facilitate balanced development both mentally and physically.
Hence
, ensuring that there is a healthy balance of
art
, sciences, languages, and physical education in the school syllabus is of utmost importance.
To sum up
,
while
art
certainly helps
children
develop creativity
as well as
express their emotions, it should be taught equally alongside all other
subjects
. A school curriculum should offer a balance of
subjects
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the two parts of the question: the importance of teaching art to children and whether they should focus more on art than other subjects. However, you could include a few more specific examples or case studies to elevate the task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are well-organized and logically sequenced, which makes your argument easy to follow. To further improve, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and referencing techniques to link your paragraphs more fluidly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, providing a sense of closure.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clearly defined paragraphs, each focused on a single main idea.
task achievement
Your arguments are well-supported and relevant to the question, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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