The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should put art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subjects such as information technology. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#role #education #children #world #schools #art #music #curriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology

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Education is important for children to get prepared for the upcoming life when they head out of school and into the modern world. Many supports that

art

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and

music

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should be replaced with trendy

subjects

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such

Linking Words

as information technology,

however

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, I disagree with the decision to replace

such

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subjects

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instead

Linking Words

, more thorough planning on the new system to include

such

Linking Words

curriculum

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

students

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students'

student's

show examples

life will be the most viable solution. A school providing

art

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and

music

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as a

curriculum

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is a plus for students as these

curriculum

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helps improve a children's cognitive development. With the world growing exponentially in technologies, creativity is what a huge company need as

this

Linking Words

brings them new business ideas to top their competitors in the field.

For instance

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, when AI

first

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was first

show examples

released to the public, many China companies starts hiring individuals to ask ChatGPT creative questions to get business ideas.

Furthermore

Linking Words

art

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and

music

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are

also

Linking Words

important careers in the industry as many movie and

music

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companies need individuals that

excels

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excel

show examples

these field

Change the determiner

this field

these fields

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to produce a masterpiece.

For example

Linking Words

, SONY's

spiderman

Capitalize word

Spiderman

show examples

into the

spiderverse

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spider verse

spider-verse

and

accross

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across

the

spiderverse

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spider verse

spider-verse

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

received positive reviews from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumers as the

art

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and

music

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produced by these

art

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and

music

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individuals

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

outstanding.

Although

Linking Words

AI has taken over the

art

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and

music

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industry recently,

however

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, the results of these movies or

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

are not liked by the public as it feels fake and not original,

therefore

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, AI

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

will never replace the talent and creativity of a human. In conclusion,

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

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should make

curriculum

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elective to allow

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

to pick what they love the most and not remove these

subjects

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totally stopping

childrens

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children

show examples

with passion and love to achieve in fields they prefer.

Submitted by honzent99 on Tue Aug 01 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
cognitive abilities
cultural education
globally connected world
problem-solving skills
critical thinking
well-rounded education
self-expression
mental health impacts
digital art
music production
technology-driven careers
academic performance
intellectual growth
emotional development
creative subjects
enrich creativity
foster a sense of achievement
stress relief

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should put art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subjects such as information technology. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

sometimes spouses have to live far away from each other. maintaining a long distance relationship is sometimes difficult and straining. what do you think are the main reasons of long distance relationships?what can be done to help couples feel closer?

We always say that there is a generation gap and there always will be. What causes generation gap? Is there no way to strike a balance in the relations between two generations?

Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others,However,say that this woud have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.