The first diagram gives information on the quantity of books borrowed from different viilage libraries between June and September in 2014 and the second graph illustrates the proportion of types of book borrowed during this given time.

The first diagram gives information on the quantity of books borrowed from different viilage libraries between June and September in 2014 and the second graph illustrates the proportion of types of book borrowed during this given time.
The first diagram gives information on the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
books
borrowed from different
viilage
Correct your spelling
village
villages
libraries between June and September
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014 and the second graph illustrates the proportion of types of
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
borrowed during
this
given time. A glance at the graph reveals that the
number
of
books
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
show examples
,
ecept
Correct your spelling
except
in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of Rye slip over the months and fiction was the most popular genre among the library goers. As can be seen in the line graph, Rie slip gave 300
books
to its members in June, which was the highest among the four. Sutton Wood was 50 less than
this
,
whereas
250 more than both West Eaton and Church Mount. From
then
, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
mentioned
lybrary
Correct your spelling
library
, there was a steady drop in the
number
of
books
lent to fall to just 175
books
by September. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of both
both
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
West Eaton and Church Mount, there was a growth in the
number
of
books
borrowed and
this
was between 50 and 150. The
number
of
books
borrowed from Sutton Wood
library
Capitalize word
Library
show examples
increased to 275 in July,
however
in August it fell sharply, to 100.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
of
this
, in September
this
library had the highest
number
of borrowings (300). As for the types of
books
, 43% of the total
books
borrowed belonged to the category of fiction. Biography was the second most popular and accounted for 19% of the borrowings. Together History, Science (14% each) and Self –Help are 38% of the borrowings.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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