IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first diagram gives information on the quantity of books borrowed from different viilage libraries between June and September in 2014 and the second graph illustrates the proportion of types of book borrowed during this given time.

The first diagram gives information on the quantity of books borrowed from different viilage libraries between June and September in 2014 and the second graph illustrates the proportion of types of book borrowed during this given time.
#first #information #quantity #books #viilage #libraries #june #september #second #proportion #book #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first diagram gives information on the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed from different
viilage
Correct your spelling
village
villages
 libraries between June and September
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014 and the second graph illustrates the proportion of types of
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 borrowed during
this
Linking Words
 given time. A glance at the graph reveals that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
show examples
,
ecept
Correct your spelling
except
 in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of Rye slip over the months and fiction was the most popular genre among the library goers. As can be seen in the line graph, Rie slip gave 300
books
Use synonyms
 to its members in June, which was the highest among the four. Sutton Wood was 50 less than
this
Linking Words
,
whereas
Linking Words
 250 more than both West Eaton and Church Mount. From
then
Linking Words
, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 mentioned
lybrary
Correct your spelling
library
, there was a steady drop in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 lent to fall to just 175
books
Use synonyms
 by September. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of both
both
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
West Eaton and Church Mount, there was a growth in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed and
this
Linking Words
 was between 50 and 150. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed from Sutton Wood
library
Capitalize word
Library
show examples
 increased to 275 in July,
however
Linking Words
 in August it fell sharply, to 100.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of
this
Linking Words
, in September
this
Linking Words
 library had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of borrowings (300). As for the types of
books
Use synonyms
, 43% of the total
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed belonged to the category of fiction. Biography was the second most popular and accounted for 19% of the borrowings. Together History, Science (14% each) and Self –Help are 38% of the borrowings.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: