The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

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The diagram displays the manufacturing process of

sugar

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produced from sugarcane. For

sugar

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production, the process includes seven main stages

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apply

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harvesting, crushing, purifying, evaporating, separating, and

finally

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drying and cooling takes place. The final product produced is

sugar

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Initially

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, the

sugar

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canes are grown up to 12-18 months.

Then

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, the harvesting is done. For the harvesting process, two methods can be used, it can be done manually or by a harvester.

Then

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, the harvested canes are crushed through a crushing machine to extract the

juice

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from the canes.

Following

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this

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, the

juice

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is filtered using a limestone filter. The

juice

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then

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condensed by using an evaporator where the

juice

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turns into a syrup.

Finally

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, the syrup is moved across a centrifuge where the

sugar

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crystals are separated from the syrup

due to

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the high pressure produced by the centrifuge.

Lastly

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, the

sugar

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crystals are dried and cooled for the final product to be formed.

Therefore

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, the dried

sugar

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crystals are formed.

arnakaldybaiTue Aug 01 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

163 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Prision is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to give people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that today’s technologies have changed the way children spend their free time, leading to some problems. Others say that this phenomenon benefits children in some respects. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion.

Many scientific institutes conduct research on live animals. Some people regard it as cruel and unnecessary while others believe it is justified in the interest of human welfare. Discuss the two views and give your reasons. Give reason for your answer.

the advanatages and disadvantages of technology in education