The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

#process #sugar #cane

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The diagram displays the manufacturing process of

sugar

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produced from sugarcane. For

sugar

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production, the process includes seven main stages

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harvesting, crushing, purifying, evaporating, separating, and

finally

Linking Words

drying and cooling takes place. The final product produced is

sugar

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Initially

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, the

sugar

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canes are grown up to 12-18 months.

Then

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, the harvesting is done. For the harvesting process, two methods can be used, it can be done manually or by a harvester.

Then

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, the harvested canes are crushed through a crushing machine to extract the

juice

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from the canes.

Following

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this

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, the

juice

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is filtered using a limestone filter. The

juice

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then

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condensed by using an evaporator where the

juice

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turns into a syrup.

Finally

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, the syrup is moved across a centrifuge where the

sugar

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crystals are separated from the syrup

due to

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the high pressure produced by the centrifuge.

Lastly

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, the

sugar

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crystals are dried and cooled for the final product to be formed.

Therefore

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, the dried

sugar

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crystals are formed.

Submitted by arnakaldybai on Tue Aug 01 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

163 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Schools should use films, and games instead of books To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

1.Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You are going to visit the town where your friend went to university. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • explain why you will be visiting the town • give details of where you will be staying ask your friend to recommend some evening entertainment.